HOW TO EXPLAIN RACISM TO A 7 YEAR OLD ...

Rhea (my daughter): Mummy what does Black Lives Matter really means?

Me: (panicking, cause I think I need to talk to my "7 year old" about racism. A topic I've been avoiding for a couple years now).

When children begin growing curious about the world around them, they usually look to their parents to explain, and with what's going on, on the news, YouTube, you name the social media network. There is no hiding this anymore. We as parents at some point won't have a choice but to answer to the sometimes scary questions about racism. Please note, this does not go for on my black kids, but kids or families of all race.

Although we want our children to ask questions, who they're asking matters. It's one thing to have a child confide in their parent, it's a completely other thing for them to blatantly ask someone they don't know. If you get my point...
Talking about race can be very sensitive, especially because Rhea is only 7. But she is as curious as a cat, and as a mind of a child twice her age. So yeah the racism topic is delicate, and even a bit messy.

Some parents may choose not to have the conversation of race with their kids. However, some children may inevitably learn about it by confronting racism in their everyday lives.
My daughter is only seven, and as experience racism (unknowingly) a couple times.
But they are soo innocent. Young children have natural curiosity about differences, but they don't put any value on what it really means.
Rhea acknowledge that her hair isn't straight( and if it's always up to me, will never be). She acknowledge the various skin colour and accents. But in her eyes it doesn't matter.

Some people choose not to talk about race,  because they don't want to raise their children to be too caught up with the differences, assuming the child will see each other as being "equal".
And I was one of those parents!!
But the hard truth is we are not, never as been, and evidently from current events we are still fighting to be.
Walking around acting like you don't see the differences can actually do more harm than good to our kids and even us adults.
"At our core, we are the same. We all want the feel safe, accepted and loved. But teaching kids to be colorblind sets them up for failure." - Coleman Mortley.

Parents need to educate themselves, if we are not completely aware. Teach children about historical events, peaceful protest and the reasons behind them, and of course be open to answer questions about current events. What they are seeing on the news; what they may or may not experienced at school or even when walking on the street.
Talk to them about racial differences and how people are sometimes treated unfairly on the basis of race. Prepare your child to be self-aware, smart and safe out there.

2020 has been a year of lesson and wisdom. A year to remember as we say. After sheltering our kids at home from the deadly coronavirus , juggling home-schooling and maintaining our sanity. Here comes another crisis, right. But ..this one we can't go on quarantine to protect ourselves and kids. Because it's literally everywhere. Now it's likely that our kids might find a video of George Floyd taking his last breathe. If they haven't seen it, they have heard us parents speaking of it.
Ask them what they know and what they've seen. Ask them what they understand about it and how it makes them feel.

If you are like me it might be a scary topic, because I fight my daughter's battles without her knowing to protect her. But now is the time to educate ourselves, our kids and speak up.

I could go on and on with this topic , but I will leave it here. Parents should model the behaviour we want for our kids to follow, and not hide the truth, but limit their exposure to the media; to the harsh reality. Kids are not born racist , racism is taught.  So make a difference. Teach our kids that the colour of our skin or race. Whether Black, white, Asian, Espanic or Northern American.  Doesn't make us different. We shouldn't be treated differently because of the pigment in our skin. No race is superior or inferior to any.
We are equal, and should be treated as such!!

Thanks for stopping by loves,
Good night and Good morning


xxx
Patrice 

FINDING HOPE IN THIS CHALLENGING TIME...

Things have changed so drastically in a matter of weeks. It's as if someone hit the pause button on the world, everything and everyone in it.
I'm aware of the many challenges we may be facing in this time, health wise, mental state or financial security. I'm not going to try and convince you or myself that we are ok, and we are going to get up everyday feeling jolly, put on our Sunday best and pretend that's nothing is wrong.
But we have been giving the opportunity to reaccess our priorities and the habits we have created- whether good or bad.

 As young and vibrant as my daughter is the other day she broke down because she said she misses school, and scared for me(as I still need to work), she's scared for our family back home and her nan who as been stuck at her holiday location for two months. So we are all suffering in one way or another.

It's a time of heightened emotions, uncertainty and fear. It's a time that we all ask ourselves.. what if!!
But, it also compels us to ask ourselves this question... What is your priority??


Some people(kids and adult alike) are "stuck" inside with abusive family members. So if you are safe at home, if you are able to provide food on the table and you've got a love one to give a cuddle when needed, consider yourself lucky and blessed. which brings me to this question..Is your home a prison or a sanctuary??

Here are a few pointers on how to be hopeful and maintain your mental health that's working for me while being stuck at home or having to leave your families to go to work:-

1. Go outside to look at nature-
Go in your back garden(if you have one), or open your window. listen to the singing birds, watch the squirrels jump from limb to limb. these little things help us to appreciate life, and acknowledge how blessed we are to be alive.

2. Practise gratitude-
Be grateful for the little things, as I said before. Not everyone has a safe home, internet, tablets to keep our kids entertained. Not everyone is able to provide for their families , because they are unemployed. Gratitude is a must!
As the term goes "stop and smell the roses".
Whenever I go outside my home, as soon as I get to my front door, before I step my feet in the house, I take a few seconds and say 'Thank you'. Being able to get back home to our families( especially if you are a key worker), is indeed something to be grateful for.

3. Look at the possibilities in your life, not the limitations.

4.Tap into your creative side-
Do something creative that you liked doing but haven't had the time to do it because you were too busy. Whether it be sewing, drawing, writing, baking and the list goes on. You are more creative than you know, and now is the time.

5.Priotise your mental health-
Be mindful of your emotional state. Stay in the current with what's happening, but don't overindulge in news or allow fear or paranoia to take a hold on you. How we feel as a huge influence on our health as well.

6. Stay in touch-
It is imperative that we practise social distancing, but staying in touch with family and friends virtually is vital. Keep in touch with those people that brings you laughter, it feeds the soul, and of course our mental health.

7. Dance..Dance..Dance-
Dance like no one is watching (well no one is ahah). It relaxes the mind and brings out the fun side of you.

"staying positive doesn't mean you need to be happy all the time. It means that even on the hard days you know that there are better ones coming."

And most of all, remember you are not doing this alone!

Thanks for stopping by loves.
Good night and Good morning.
Stay home,stay safe!

xoxo
Patrice 

WHAT MAKES A WOMAN BEAUTIFUL...

As you guys might figure out if you've been following my blog, I'm a feminist. I'm a strong believer of women empowerment, and I love to see confident, strong women. I choose to celebrate you my followers on this post by using photos (permission granted)of some of my day-one supporters. All beautiful women in my opinion!!

Beautiful...
As simple as it might sound, it's a powerful word. In my opinion one of the most powerful words used to describe a woman. It's not a word to be thrown around as frivolously like hot, pretty, sexy or whatever words try are using nowadays. Which is basically just describing the size of our waist, the symmetry of our faces or the fullness of our lips. It is a word that chases women to plastic surgery, extreme diets and low self-esteem. But isn't being beautiful about so much more than a pretty face??

Let me just put it out there. The mirror reflects, it doesn't define. So when you look in the mirror you basically see what you want to see. Bare in mind, if your mind and body doesn't get along, then you are your biggest enemy.

Side Note: someone will tell you that you are ugly just to sell you something to make you feel like you are somehow more beautiful.  Well news flash, beauty isn't just a look, it's internal. Beauty is how you carry yourself , your personality, who you are..
As the phrase states "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" and in my opinion, there is a quality of the soul or personality that can turn a beautiful face into a ugly one.

4 Things that makes a woman beautiful:

1.  Her Confidence:
A woman who doesn't need a man is a woman who is confident, and confidence is the key to real beauty. A woman who doesn't need the approval of others radiates with poise that elevates her from the status of "just a pretty face". Confidence isn't about wanting others to notice us and wanting them to tell us how good we look or act. Confidence is a woman who knows, you have all this, you are proud of yourself, doesn't matter who else knows or what they think about you.
There is beauty in a woman that doesn't need reassurance to help her feel pride in herself.

2.  Her Mind:
There is this myth that a beautiful woman isn't smart. Well I believe the complete opposite. A woman can have the complete package. Boobs, brains and bootie haha.
Basically, there is a stereotype that if a woman looks too appealing then she can't have anything on the upstairs, and if she "has her nose in a book" then she can't be hot or pretty. Again wrong!
Knowledge is empowerment, and empowerment is sexy and in my opinion a quality of a beautiful woman.

3.  Her fun-loving spirit:
Who really want to share space with a Debbie Downer?? hmm..
Don't get me wrong, this is not to say that a woman must be positive and happy all the time. We all have struggles and issues dealing with. The point is being able to be resilient, and appreciate the little things that life has to offer. Being able to make someone smile even on your worst days. A woman that is able to connect with others on different levels. Whether it be to make silly gestures, dance, sing out loud or just chill and talk about life. possessing these qualities in my opinion is indeed beautiful.

4.  And last but for me one of the highest on my list. Her Energy:
Listen!! If your energy is wrong, babe I'm out! lol.
A woman's energy is the combination of all of the above, and more. When a woman follow her passion, is compassionate, intelligent, refuses to give up, believes in herself, keeps a sense of adventure and spark with confidence. That energy will be the spark that lights up everyone and everything around her.
That's a beautiful woman!!
Less perfection, more authenticity!

To sum it all up. Beauty is the qualities that elevates a woman from just pretty or sexy. It's the way she radiates from the inside out. It's her soul and her spark and of course that one thing you just can't put your finger on.
"A sign of a beautiful person is that they always see the beauty in others"

Thanks again to these beautiful ladies for allowing me to use their photos.

xx Patrice