5 THINGS I'VE LEARNT ABOUT MYSELF AND LIFE...

I've grown so much over the pass few years. I've gone through life and had so many different experiences from which I'm constantly learning. I know in the future I will probably look back and realise that in my 30s I knew so little. But we live and learn right. As they say, "experience teaches wisdom."

So here a few things that I've learnt so far:

• Finding and maintaining friendship as an adult is a lot of effort and sometimes very difficult.

True friendship in adulthood can be much harder to make and maintain than they were during golden days of lunchboxes or late night treats of dorm rooms.

I don't think I need to say much on this. As I grew older I outgrew some friendships. Some separation geographically, and some after all the partying and fun ended and I decided to start a family the friendship ended, cause we had nothing else in common and nothing much to speak about. But its called growth!

We are all grown people and are busy AF and if we don't have genuine friends then this might be difficult. I have this friend back home and we don't speak every day, some times weeks pass. I can contact this person whenever and we just catch up. No questions about "why you didn't call me" or who contacted who last. 

 I've come to realise that friendship is about people of different culture, beliefs, lifestyle and personalities coming together. We don't need to be 'the same' to be friends. As long as we accept each others differences, goals and aspiration and is willing to be there for that person and vice versa. Cheers to those who have their BFFs from high school, but I've learnt that it not all about the amount of years.

• It's ok for people to dislike me.

When I was in my teen I would question why someone likes me or doesn't speak to me but speak to everyone else. Basically I wanted acceptance.. But now I couldn't care any less. Most of those who says they don't like me(for no specific reason) are still struggling to like themselves. In my opinion sometimes its best for some of these people to not like you, Cause they are toxic, and girl I cant deal with all the negativity and chaos, I'm way too old for that shit.

If anything, it should be motivation, it just means I'm doing something right. 

Advice: Don't take them or their silly comments personally.

•  I need to be my own cheerleader

Before I would find myself looking for external sources to make me feel motivated, less overwhelmed, positive, sexy or empowered. But don't think I gave myself much credit, cause no one understands me like I do. We sometimes take our own accomplishments for granted unless someone else approves them. We question how gorgeous we are because we didn't receive a compliment.. hmm.

Well I've learnt to clap for myself. I don't need anyone's validation, and definitely don't need a compliment or word of advice to be motivated. If we need love, support and inspiration, the first place we should look is within ourselves. 

ps. I love giving compliments. I just love to see women who take care of themselves and put themselves together. I literally get excited when I see a gorgeous lady, and I'm not afraid to give a stranger a compliment. It does feel good to hear it sometimes, doesn't it!

Being my own cheerleader has the distinct ability to provide me with this sense of leadership and control. This all comes down to self-acceptance and self-worth. Self-worth comes from

within, nobody can give us, or take it away. So go ahead, give yourselves the praise you deserve..

• There's no life change that will make me happy, if I don't appreciate what I have now.

 It's our minds, thoughts and associates that gets I the way of achieving happiness. Of course a bigger bank account, my dream home would give me a smile from ear to ear. But is that where my happiness lies?

I've learnt to accept what I've got now, and work hard for what I want. I will accept life challenges . but settling is not an option. I believe in working hard (or twice as much) if necessary. If I fail, I know I can control the lessons gained from the experience and carry them in the next challenge, cause challenges are what makes life and/or achieving that goal, a bit more interesting. Things might not happen overnight, but happiness lies in reframing events to accept what is and letting go off what you cant control.

"Change the changeable,
accept the unchangeable and remove yourself from the acceptable."
-Denis Waitley.

•  I'm not defined by who I was, what I've done or where I am in life.

What can I say, I'm proud of the woman I'm becoming...

Just to let you know, these trousers are from Fashionova.

Thanks for stopping by loves

Sending loads of love your way..

xx Patrice

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